


maybe they don't care

by aromanticanti



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, Not Beta Read, Self Harm, Winged!Grian, idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25242328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aromanticanti/pseuds/aromanticanti
Summary: grain is spiraling
Relationships: GoodTimesWithScar & Grian, Mumbo Jumbo & Grian
Comments: 1
Kudos: 155





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> heyyyyyy I haven't written anything in a while so I decide to project onto grain again !! 
> 
> formatting messed up and I can't be bothered to fix it frick
> 
> umm this is gonna be a multi chapter I suppose since I wrote it like that
> 
> also thank you to the person who told me to work on detail I actually found it helped a l o t with my pacing and I actually wrote over 1k words
> 
> umm anyway trigger warning if you didn't read tags there is self harm this is what the story is about so uh don't read if that'll trigger you !! it isn't too too detailed but there is a little bit so yeah
> 
> also my dioulouge stanky

It was late, he hadn’t slept in days but he wasn’t really planning on fixing that. He folded his wings behind his back subconsciously, he wasn’t really coherent at the moment. He was too deep in thought to pay attention to his surroundings.

He was in his hobbit hole and at some point he had stopped standing and was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest and his wings folded behind his back. He’d been spiraling the last few weeks. His mental health had gotten so bad he hadn’t even touched his base in forever.

No one had noticed this though, or if they did they didn’t care enough to check in. He hadn’t restocked the barge in at least two weeks and hasn’t been out of his hobbit hole in one.

With more thinking he would’ve thought at least one of the jungle hermits would’ve noticed considering he’s usually always working on _something _but they must’ve been to busy. But his mind thought of a different reason _‘maybe they just don’t care’ _that could be it.____

____He doesn’t want that to be true but he can’t help but feel it is. This is the worst he’s been since he joined hermitcraft so someone _must’ve _noticed they just don’t _care _. For some reason that thought is what does it for him._____ _ _ _

________He’s been having awful thoughts for this whole time but _that’s _the one that breaks the dam. He comes out of his thoughts enough to attempt to wipe his tears away but they just keep coming so he gives up on that.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He moves to his bathroom, he hasn’t done this since the beginning of season six so he has to break open one of his razors to use. _‘not like I use this for actually shaving’ _he laughs a little at that.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He used to cut everyday, even in evo. But when he joined hermitcraft he was actually healing, mumbo and iskall helped him without even realizing it. He finally had friends and even if they didn’t know about his self harm they still helped him recover._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________It was about time for a relapse though. He really thought that happiness was going to last and, to his point it did for a while, but clearly not as long as he thought it would._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He finally broke the razor and he pulled the blades out. He wasn’t stupid so he washed off the one he was going to use. He didn’t want to have to explain an infection to stress or scar._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He wiped off the razor and put it to his arm, pressing down. He wanted to go slowly, at least for these first few. He felt like he deserved it, no, _knew _he deserved it. He slowly pulled the blade across his wrist, staring at the blood coming from the cut. He did it slowly a few more times but started to get impatient so he went faster.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________One, two, three, four, and he started to lose count. Before long both of his arms were a mangled, bloody mess._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“maybe I overdid it a little” heh yeah right._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He ran his arms under his sink until the bleeding almost completely stopped. He found some bandage wraps he had laying around and wrapped up both his arms, then pulled down his sweater sleeves._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He already felt better, tired, but better. He decided to finally sleep even though the sun was already rising._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He ended up sleeping through the whole day _and _night. He was surprised when he woke up and actually had motivation to do stuff so, before that motivation could leave, he got ready, which really only consisted of him putting on a new sweater and wiping his face off, and ran off to check the barge and see what he needed to restock.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He flew to the shopping district without going to the nether. He wanted to just feel the cool breeze on his face and the salty smell of the ocean around the mooshroom island. It didn’t take much longer than it would’ve if he used the nether and he got there in under fifteen minutes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________When he arrived at the shopping district he flew right into the barge without landing anywhere else. He checked his stock he made two whole stacks of diamonds and needed to restock most of the barrels._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________As he was putting his diamonds into the investment pile he heard someone enter so he finished up, closing the barrel, and turnt around._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“oh hey Scar!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________scar must’ve just noticed him because he jumped a little when he talked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“oh hey G man! It’s nice to see you, what have you been up to I haven’t seen you around in forever!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________he sounded mildly concerned but that’s just how scar is_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Oh, I’ve just been working on my base and haven’t had time for anything else.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________he awkwardly laughed. He hoped scar hadn’t been around his base and call him out on the lie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“oh really? I haven’t seen you, I guess I must have always come by while you were somewhere else.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________he let out a relived sigh “Yeah, it was nice chatting with you scar but I’ve gotta go grind for the barge and then work on my base.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________scar looked at him and for a split second grian thought he was going to call him out on something until “Okay then, have fun with that! I have to go work on my base too actually.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________so with that grian and scar parted ways. Grian just flew right out of the barge wile scar looked at him in slight amazement, he doesn’t know why he still looks at him like that he’s seen him fly tons of times, but there’s no time to think about scar right now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He spent maybe five hours getting stock for the barge and was finally finished. He flew to the barge and stocked with no interruptions and made his way to his base. Using the nether he made it there in minutes and immediately got started on it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He got lost in the process of building his only thoughts being where he was going to place the next block and what would look good. It was nice to actually be able to clear his mind like this, it’s why he liked building so much. It brought him a sense of peace albeit a temporary one._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Without even realizing it he ended up working on his base until the sun started going down and even a little into the night. He finally stopped when he realized how dark it was. He thought about continuing to build but he was already tired from grinding and working on his base made him even more tired._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________With a sigh he put away all his building materials and decided to go back to his hobbit hole, he could continue building tomorrow. He quickly flew to his hobbit hole with his sore wings and landed right in front of his door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He took off his shoes and traded his jeans for a pair of fluffy pajama pants keeping his red sweater on and made his way to the bathroom. Right as he walked into the bathroom he rolled up his sleeves and checked his bandages. He slowly peeled them off to look at the gashes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________They weren’t that deep and hadn’t looked like many reopened throughout the day, which, he supposes is a good thing. After staring at his cuts for a little too long he decided he wouldn’t be awful if he added a few._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________A few quickly turned into a lot and eventually he had run out of room on not only his wrists but his upper arms and shoulders. He awkwardly cleaned off his wounds in the sink after he came back to himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He oddly didn’t even care, it’s not like this is the worst he’s ever done, it’s nothing like what he used to do to himself with the watchers and even in evo. He wrapped himself up again, noting he should get more bandages, and decided to actually go to sleep before the sunrise came._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He walked over the his and flopped onto it face down and fell asleep almost as soon as his face hit the pillow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I for got about the mumbo for mayor shirts so I came up with this
> 
> it isn't that eventful of a chapter but ummm

He woke up feeling like he didn’t even sleep and with stinging arms. He decided to take a shower before doing anything else to try and wake up a little more. He walked over to his closet grabbed some jeans and a new sweater since the one he was wearing at the moment was starting to smell, and made his way to the bathroom.

He turned to shower on and got undressed. When he stepped in it was freezing but that’s how he liked them. The water made his cuts sting and his wings fluff up but it doesn’t really bother him.

He only showers for twenty minute before he decides to get out. He dried himself off and put his socks and pants on but flapped his wings to try and get more water off before putting on his sweater.

After he slipped his sweater over his wings he went to leave the bathroom when the blade caught his eye. He stopped moving towards the door and just stared at the blade for a couple seconds before deciding, “fuck it.” 

He walked over to the counter where the blade was sitting and he slowly picked it up. He usually cut at night so the cuts had time to heal and he didn’t bleed through but he decided it didn’t really matter and it’d be fine.

He rolled up his sleeves and since he didn’t bother putting on new bandages after his shower he didn’t have to take any off. He put the blade to his wrist and started.

He had been at it for probably only thirty minutes when he made a cut deeper than the others. He could see fat and it wouldn’t stop bleeding. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do, he used to cut even deeper than this when he was with the watchers but when he was with them he actually had potions at the ready.

He decided to wash it off and put the rest of his bandages over the one cut, he only had one wrap left so he left the others with none. He gingerly pulled his sweater sleeves down not wanting to reopen or disturb any of the new gashes.

Right as he walked out of the bathroom his communicator pinged signifying he had gotten a message. Which was a _little _weird since he hadn’t gotten one in weeks but whatever. He grabbed the communicator off of his bed and read the message he just got.__

___‘hey can we meet up at grumbot?’ ____ _

____it was from mumbo. Grian takes a few seconds to think of a reply_ _ _ _

_____‘sure I’ll be right over!’ ____ _ _ _

______he put his communicator in his pocket and flew up to his nether portal._ _ _ _ _ _

______He got over to grumbot fairly quickly and landed to see mumbo hadn’t even notice him fly up. He decided to try and spook him so he slowly crept up behind him and,_ _ _ _ _ _

______“boo!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______mumbo jumped and quickly turned around and chuckled a bit_ _ _ _ _ _

______“oh hello gri I didn’t even hear you land.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______grian laughed a little with mumbo before asking_ _ _ _ _ _

______“why’d you wanna meet at grumbot anyway?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______mumbo looks at him like he’s looking for something and then sighs like he didn’t find it_ _ _ _ _ _

______“you never made a plan.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______grian stares at him like a lost puppy and mumbo just sighs again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“guess we should ask grumbot?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______mumbo looks at him_ _ _ _ _ _

______“yeah lets do that”_ _ _ _ _ _

______so they took out a diamond and a piece of paper writing a simple _‘what is the plan?' _and popping it in grumbot.___ _ _ _ _ _

________They waited a few seconds until a book and a piece of paper popped out. Grian walked up to the book and picked it up mumbo picking up the paper._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“what does yours say?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“it says to build a grumbot shop and a film studio?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“weird. Mine says to make t shirts.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“well I guess we have to listen to him. I’ll build the shop you can build the film studio?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“yeah, but where are we gonna get the t shirts?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________just as mumbo said that they heard something else come out of grumbot so they turned around and saw that he had ejected clothing. They both walked over to the pile and each picked up a piece of fabric._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“oh I guess grumbot thought of that already. I didn’t know he could even do that!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________grian was just looking at the shirt. It was white with the words mumbo for mayor on it there wasn’t really anything special about it but that wasn’t why grian was staring at it. It had short sleeves._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“you good gri? You’ve been looking at that shirt for like three minutes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________grian snapped out of his thoughts and looked over at mumbo who had already put the shirt on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh sorry.” he had to think of something and thats when he noticed “the shirt doesn’t have holes in the back.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh, guess you can’t put it on right now then. Well I guess I have to get started on that film studio, bye grian!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________mumbo lit some fireworks and flew off to the shopping district. Grian decided to just go straight to his hobbit hole to figure out the shirt and then figure out the shop. He sighed, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do about the short sleeves but he’d figure it out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He flew to the nether portal in the shopping district and went into his hobbit hole. He got a pair of scissors and quickly cut holes in the back of the shirt, he was used to having to do it so he got them done in just a few minutes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Now about the sleeves, he could just wear the shirt underneath his sweater, but he guesses that would defeat the whole purpose of having it in the first place. He could put a long sleeve under it. Yeah that’s what he’d do._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________So he found a long sleeve shirt in his closet and put it on and then slipped on the mumbo for mayor shirt. He looked like an eboy but he didn’t care that much he could just say he’s cold and didn’t want to cover up the shirt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Now about that grumbot shop, what should he build. He sits down on his bed and thinks about what would look good and interesting enough to compel the other hermits to go into it. He finally thought of something after thinking for ten minutes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He got up and flew to his nether portal going as quick as he could to the shopping district. He got there and immediately started building before he lost motivation. He finished the shop fairly quickly putting chests down before he remembered he didn’t know what they were selling yet. He stepped outside and backed up to admire his work._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“your name is gonna be jrumbot.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He put his diamond block onto the throne in the town hall and decided he was headed back to work on his base. He was in a building mood. He flew through the nether and made his way back to his base._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He ended up working on his base until well into the night until his wings felt like they’d fall off. He flew to his hobbit hole and just fell right into his bed without bothering to even take his shoes off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
